If you have a race report, and you're not an elite/fast runner, but just a 'normal' person (whatever that is!) doing it for fun or personal achievement, then please email it in!
The alarm beeps at 7am and I’m up getting ready for work before I remember. It’s Sunday, and I’ve been persuaded into doing that mad Insane Terrain run. So not only am I up early on a Sunday, but I’m up early on Sunday to go running. And running in cold mud, jumping over stuff. At what point did this seem a good idea?
On arrival, I get my number and strap my timing chip to my ankle while attempting to stop shivering. The race organisers look much too happy – this does not bode well.
Soon after, we’re off. Nice little trot to ease us in, a slope or two – all going well, until the next wave zooms past and I find I’m not as good as I could be at running up hills. One fast stream crossing, and then the deep mud starts, with plenty of jostling and falling over. There’s a nasty feeling in my shorts and I try not to think about leeches. Out the other side and I just start to warm up before I have to crawl through a muddy, water filled tunnel that smells of sewage and destroys my knees. Whoever set this course up has a weird sadistic streak, as next we’re on to hills. Not little hills, but huge muddy nasty hills. Lots of them. And to make the hills ‘entertaining’, some maniac has decided in between them we need to go under a crawl net. In the mud. The bloke in front kicks me in the face, and I swallow several mouthfuls. Best not to speculate on what might be in there.... Lots more water runs, hurdles, and a nasty crawl tunnel in more mud. Oh, and did I mention the hay bale tower we had to get over? Not little bales, nearly as big as me, all spiky and nothing to grab. The marshall cheerily gives me a leg up and comments that I have mud all over my face – that’s the least of my mud worries (still trying not to think about leeches). More mud, more bruises, more brambles. To finish we have the great wall (another kick in the face, and a frantic scramble down the other side) and a lethal water slide before a sprint for the finish. I am covered in bruises, have mud all over me, and grit in unmentionable places. Still avoiding thinking about leeches.
As I cross the finish line, I only have one thing in my mind – how do I sign up for the next one?